time is not wasted if its occupied by someone who makes you happy.

but WHAT IF you are, indeed, wasting your time?

what if all along it'll just end up like the rest, who, infact made your little time theirs, but they were only meant to pass by? it's meaningless, isnt it? like bluff.
they'd be here, then for a minute theyve been gone already. they wouldnt stay too long coz its supposed to be it.

"Nothing happens by chance." as the infamous Paulo Coleho have noted in Veronika Decides To Die.

yes really, is it fate?

funny that A LOT OF PEOPLE are crazed having faith IN fate, and are having their time guessing about it.

how can anyone know anyway?
if something happens to pull you on that same chance, and twas REALLY REALLY REALLY perfect,how would you know how long that one chance lasts?

im so bitter, negative and miserable with everything now.

fairy tales and happy endings just happens with like 2% of the population as they believe it is true. TRUTH IS: it is not. they're just blinded or plain crazy believing that their life is good. maybe not perfect. but better than anyone else's.

just as i thought, a fairy perfect chance is too good to be true.
soon, the wheels will turn you back to the ugly reality.
you wake up, and there you go with LIFE again.


life is ugly. life is crazy. life is insane. life is unfair.


if someone knows what happiness means, (please dont be specific enough to name anyone you propose as happiness, like your boyfriends. i'd kill you i swear) please raise your feet, and let me hear about it.

im so sorry if my thoughts are too broad. i cant tell why i felt so awful. (nota bene: this is not PMS)

sigh. i knew it. from the very very very start. this may not be my ONE HAPPY chance yet; not yet. not ever. im pretty sure im wasting my time. but in the end of the day i cant quit. not yet (again) im just too weak to begin our ending. :(